Forgive but never forget

We’ve all been screwed over by somebody! That’s just the way life is. With that being said, you must forgive people because most do not believe in right and wrong. Instead, they live in a grey area. You’ll never forget how somebody treated you. It’s impossible!
However, once you have forgiven them, simply keep your distance to prevent being played again.
 
My friend was driving like an idiot while intoxicated. Although I knew better to be in the car with I thought I wouldn’t be bad. Also, I was drunk myself! He thought it was a brilliant idea to start speed racing with another guy not caring about my safety. I forgave him though. But instead of holding anymore animosity towards him inside of me, I decided to end our friendship. He doesn’t know what friendship is and in my opinion, he needs professional help for his actions. I hope he seeks it but I can’t force him to.
 
At the age of 26, I’m convinced people live for drama. Please disregard what “horoscope sign” is more toxic than the other because there are just people who thrive on chaos. Their energy levels simply do not connect with my mind or my heart anymore. However, you and I need to understand we must not fix them but simply let them have their own coming to Jesus moment or seek therapy.
 
I am not a vengeful man although I do believe in karma. When I was younger I watched “The Count of Monte Cristo” (2002). The plot follows Edmond Dantes (Jim Cavizel) who is wrongly convicted by his “friend” Fernand (Guy Pierce) for committing a treasonous act. For Dantes’s punishment, he is sent to the Cheatu D’if to rot forever. While Dantes contemplates his life, Fernand starts life without him with Dantes’ former woman Mercedes (Dagmara Domińczyk). However, Dantes escapes the prison and seeks revenge against Fernand and the others who betrayed him. In their final showdown, he finally kills Fernand in a bittersweet victory. Why? Because he didn’t take the advice from the Priest (Richard Harris) who warned him about his lust for revenge. Unfortunately, Dantes was blinded by his own rage thus it prohibited him from learning this vital lesson.
 
There’s no need to be permanently angry at anybody who has wronged you. Forgive but never forget. Remember, one who is unfulfilled within themselves never grows, they simply plateau.
 

Subscribe:

Email Address:

First Name:

Last Name:

Birthday / ( mm / dd):

I’m not your bae

I don’t like it when a woman puts a title on me. I’m not your bae and we aren’t together. Honestly, it creeps me out like some weird Life time film or something. But all jokes aside! People need to quit doing this. It’s unattractive when anybody claims you as their significant other when they haven’t agreed to be because it shows that they are very possessive and controlling. Nothing is more unattractive than anybody who carries those characteristics about themselves. It’s an ultimate red flag that you should really look out for!

When I was in middle school, I’d hear women whisper about me being their boyfriend and even had a random girl in my class refer to herself as Mrs. Harris. I was never flattered once. But I damn sure was uncomfortable. I could never fathom why anyone would think this is cute. Doesn’t a light bulb go off in your head that they’re possibly going stalk you? Or are we just too turned on by each other’s ascetics to not notice it? As I got older, I’ve asked a couple of women why they put titles on men that aren’t theirs. Most of them have replied, “Because I can” or “Because he’s mine” Which just creeped me out! You’d try to tell them he’s not your boyfriend or bae only for her to cope an attitude and say, “Yes he is!” Which creeped me out even more!

I’m pretty sure that’s how it starts. It’s innocent flirting and claims that turn into something bigger. Call me paranoid if you want but ladies, you refer to me as your bae I’m creeped out by you and my attraction level has officially dropped to 0%. If we aren’t in a relationship I’m simply not yours. That’s it! Unstable and craziness does not attract calmness and inner peace. It simple cancels out!

Lastly, she’s not yours, he’s not yours. Nobody is your property and we are more than just looks. If nobody makes it official than we are still single. Therefore, don’t trip when he/she doesn’t want you. You creeped them out by calling them “Bae”. It’s not cute, it’s just creepy!

Why are you so calm?

Calmness in my heart has come from mediation and my own spirituality. Whenever I get angry, I simply let it go because it’s not worth it. However, I have been noticing that my “calmness” or my “Okay” to people’s responses have either angered people or made them think twice about talking to me to begin with. I’m not sure which is which but ever since I’ve practiced Stoicism I no longer freak myself out, I handle myself accordingly.

For those of you who have never heard of Stoicism, it’s the practice of indifference during tough times by simply using logic and ethics. This Hellenistic philosophy was founded by Zeno of Citium, in Athens, in the early 3rd century BC. I was at Ocean State Job Lot one day and a guy told me, “Hey man be careful out here you need to be wearing gloves or something. Don’t be taking this Corona virus too lightly.” I wasn’t even rude when I responded, “Okay man will do!” He responded, “I’m serious” with more bass in his voice. At that moment, I responded, “No I know. I just bought gloved!” without an attitude that even remotely stated, “I’m a millennial you old man you can’t tell me what to do!” I respect my elders to the fullest but this was just weird. I truly believe that when you are so unbothered by the majority of things happening in your life many will think something is wrong with you. However, I respect what the man said but I don’t believe in freaking out or overreacting over anything that is out of my control. I believe in remaining calm and reacting accordingly.

Which is why being calm is the new cool. Everything around you can burn to the ground but instead of freaking out, think before you do anything. Most people, young and old are in panic mode right now because of Covid 19. We must not do this. We have to figure out solutions instead of creating more problems! It’s the reason why our world is in such dire straights. You must remain calm and rid yourself of these trivial emotions running through your head. Silence the thoughts of, “Oh my God what are you going to do!” and “It’s the end of the world as we know it” because this does not lead to happiness. This way of thinking will only lead to pessimism and with overwhelming pessimism you can never be happy!

They want you to freak out

With everything going on in the world it’s sad that people have become reactive instead of proactive. It’s the reason why I only watch 1 hr max of news a day and 1 hour of social media scrolling a day because I don’t want to live my life worrying all of the time. Too much information causes your brain to feel overwhelmed which leads to drastic and toxic behaviors (drugs, junk food, alcohol, porn, fighting etc.) Besides, how much information do you need to consume? How much of this information is true anyway? And is sitting in front of a television or scrolling on your phone going to make you more successful?

In 1976 satire film Network, veteran news anchorman Howard Beale (Peter Finch) finds out that his boss wants to fire him due to low ratings and his age. After a night of heavy drinking, the next day on live television, Howard threatens to kills himself. However, he launches an angry televised rant, which turns out to be a huge ratings boost for the UBS network. Since the ratings went up Executive producer Diana Christensen (Faye Dunaway) devised even more outrageous programming in order to contribute to the unexpected success.

From 1976 to 2020, not much has changed. Sure the film was a satire but it’s the unfortunate reality we live in. Besides you know what they say, “You can find the truth in a joke”. Social media and the news control your emotions and here’s why? One minute they can show you a clip of the weather being very sunny with a temperature of 70 degrees for the day. Now you’re excited right? Suddenly, the news becomes dark because somebody was killed. Since the average person only REACTS, instead of ACTING, most people are going to stay inside living in fear wondering, “What if I’m next?” instead of just going outside to enjoy mother nature.

Then that same story is posted to social media. Now everybody is throwing their two cents in with numerous Re-post, Re-tweets, comments, likes, and shares typing things such as, “This is what’s wrong with the world today!!” Of course most of us want to be happy. I mean who wouldn’t right? But I truly don’t believe scrolling social media or flipping through the television for our daily inspiration is the answer. We can only hear, “Everything is going to be better” from somebody who doesn’t face the same problems we do for so long right!

To prevent so many of my flare ups and negative thought patterns I read “Peace: The Words and Inspiration” by Mahatma Gandhi. The book is a collection of inspirations and words of wisdom to encourage mankind through the darkest hours of our lives. Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” So instead of wasting your life away watching television or scrolling social media on your phone, get out of your house, clear out your negative thinking and replace it with more positive thinking. Your justified in being upset, hurt or angry but do something about it. Don’t let social media or the news rewire your way of thinking because the world isn’t a terrible place. In order UN-learn our way of thinking about the world through negativity you must RE-learn a positive way of thinking.

Happy Wife Happy Life

I wouldn’t consider myself a traditional person by any means. Especially when it comes to the phrase , “Happy Wife Happy Life” I truly believe that everyone’s happiness should be taken in consideration. What about the men in this situation? What are we teaching our young boys? That making a woman happy, putting her on a pedistol just because, is acceptable. Your woman has to add to your happiness and vice versa. It’s not all about one person because relationship means two people, not one. No wonder so many marriages fail. Most men marry women just on physical attraction. Not because she adds to your peace, values your team, cooks, cleans and just overall, isn’t insufferable.

I don’t think woman realize what their saying when they repeat, “Happy Wife, Happy Life” so let me explain what it means. In translation, his happiness, feelings or emotions do not matter. He’s just going to say, “Whatever makes you happy babe!” because he doesn’t have a backbone and is afraid of her leaving him. In return, she’s still miserable and always seems unsatisfied. Meanwhile, this has now caused the “man” to be very sarcastic and cynical towards everybody because he doesn’t feel appreciated in the marriage. He won’t say it, he will just ignore it which leads to suicidal and sometimes, homicidal tendencies.

I’ve talked to a couple of married men who believe in this phrase. He doesn’t smile or anything. He’s very passive to answer if he’s actaully happy as well. It’s just weird that a guy would even say things such as:

1. Well sometimes my wife likes me

2. Oh I can’t stand being around her

3. It doesn’t matter if I’m not happy son but if your mother isn’t happy well it’s a problem

4. My wife won’t even talk to me sometimes.

But I thought “Happy Wife is a Happy Life right?” I mean that doesn’t sound like happiness to me. That sounds like misery. Why would I in my right mind ever subscribe to this. Common sense alone says before we even getting married she should be happy within herself. I should only ADD to her happiness and vice versa. It shouldn’t be MY main responsibility to go above and beyond to make her happy. Nowadays, I ask myself various questions whenever I’m talking to a woman because I’d like something long-term not short-term.

1. Is she still clubbing every weekend?

2. Does she drink excessive alcohol?

3. Is she overly promiscuous?

4. Will she add to my happiness?

5. Is she even happy within herself?

These questions are crucial because if the answer is no to all of my questions forget marriage, she isn’t even relationship material. Obviously, she’s self-absorbed within herself and needs Jesus and a therapist because it’s not normal to prelong your college days. Eventuall, you tone down the drinking and straigthen up because men are not responsible for fixing broken woman.

Women and men should both be happy in a marriage/relationship because without it they are just roommates. Besides, why be with someone who does not add to your happiness and simply does not want to? Never be in a rush to commit to anybody in 2020 because people do not know what they want. Marriages aren’t even sacred anymore because of “Happy wife Happy life” It’s the reason why marriages have declined because these men spend all of their efforts trying to appease bitter and scorn women who they should have never married to begin with.

Are black men just athletes and thugs?

So I’ve been playing basketball for 10 plus years now. I had desires to play in the NBA but I picked up the pen and never looked back. It’s a personal decision I’ve had to explain to so many people but it’s my choice not there’s. I caught myself having a De Ja Vu moment when a little black kid asked me, “Why are you not playing in the NBA? I just told him, “I’d rather write for a living little man.” Keep in mind, I’m used to kids his age asking me this which is why I no longer get mad after realizing kids don’t understand how life works yet.

But it brings up an interesting question though. Do black kids only believe that they can be basketball or football players? Because I truly believe many black kids are being hypnotized into only getting into the NBA or the NFL. Many black kids have not grown up in stable conditions so they believe all of their money should go to buying expensive things that they don’t need, hanging around the wrong crowd, and getting various women pregnant. However, most black kids are taught how to dribble and throw but are never shown how to read, write, or count. this to say that young black kids should not pursue sports? NO! I’m saying that black boys should at least have a deceit education, have positive influences such as teachers and mentors that inform them that the sky is the limit, and most importantly a supportive family structure that takes the time to educate their kids so they don’t end up in remedial classes.

Which brings my attention to Rap and Hip Hop music. Most artists are negative influences on a young black boy because these artists are always sagging pants, have a bad attitude, brag about how many women they’ve been with, and they do drugs because it’s cool. It’s their image on and off camera and it’s abhorrent Sadly enough, young black men don’t even know who Langston Hughes, Fredrick Douglass or Huey P. Newton but they know who Blue face or lil whatever is. The damage on a young black boy growing up with these negative influences is that he will berate women, drop out of school, sell drugs, have a drug problem and most importantly, blame the white man for all of his personal failures.

I don’t consider myself a role model but as a 26 year old man I’m responsible for leading by example. I live a clean life that excludes drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex not because I truly believe in doing the right thing. This may mean, “I’m not cool anymore” but I don’t care. I’m tired of chasing after women, drinking heavily and getting high because that’s WHAT BEING A MAN IS ABOUT! It’s not! Being a man means you do what’s right even if you’re doing it by yourself. Which is why my days of mistreating my body, mind, and spirit are officially done. The temptations will always be there but I choose to rise above in the midst of evil.

Black men don’t have to dribble a basketball, throw a football, sell drugs, or be rappers in order to be successful. We can be teachers, doctors, laborers, lawyers, mentors, and writers. Black boys need to be educated before anything. Sports come second because if you get injured and you can’t manage the hospital bills that means all of their efforts will come to a screeching haul. Also, many black parents need to quit living vicariously through their kids athletic ability. Filling his head up with thoughts such as, “He HAS to make it to the NBA or the NFL” just because his family can’t budget their money properly.

Most black families do not set their families up for financial success but instead set them up for mental and physical failure. That’s why a lot of black men have this attitude problem and flare ups because they truly believe the world is against them. In reality, the resentment comes from many black men being raised in unstable household conditions that made them feel unloved and worthless. As a community let’s strip the stereotype of the black thug or athlete and implore morals, principles, spirituality, and education so we can rid ourselves of this victim hood mentality. We can’t persevere by living in the past and that is why we must move forward.

I don’t buy what you’re selling

Too many people just talk too much. However, not too many people are actually doing anything. Have you ever heard somebody say, “I’m trying to get in shape” but you knew they were full of it because they never got a membership, ate healthier, or even tried. Well, that’s how a lot of people are in life. Telling people that you’re trying sounds very passive and whinny. If you want people to take you seriously train yourself to say, “I’m going to the gym 3 days a week and I’m doing my best to eat healthier. You see what I did there. When asked I established that I am working out and eating healthier by changing trying to “going” and “doing”. However, if I said, “I’m trying to get in shape.” People are going to just look at me funny because I haven’t even discussed my plan. Therefore, they believe that I’m not really serious which means they will not respect me.

This is why I don’t buy what many people are selling. If you are going to make your life better than just do it. What are waiting for? If you want to write that book go write it! If you want to open a business open it! Everybody is waiting on some sign or an act from God but signs and acts aren’t enough if you don’t invest yourself.

I used to have such crippling anxiety over trivial things such as driving. I was always worried about what if I fail but never asking myself, “Why do you care if you fail?” When I started stripping myself of my own negative thinking I learned how to become more optimistic. That’s how I asked myself, “So what if I fail I can just try again!” Yes, it took me a while and it cost me money but I’ve been driving now for the past two 2 years. In order to grow as a person through times of adversity one must remain optimistic or less they will repeat the same patterns.

Realizing you are the problem is a hard pill to swallow but swallow it! So what if you fail you can do it again until you get it right. Michael Jordan didn’t give up when he didn’t make the basketball team his freshman year! So why would you give up on anything in life? You have to minus all of these negative thoughts running around inside of your brain because it’s prohibiting you from advancing in life. Get off that couch, quick eating all of that processed garbage and fix your life. You owe it yourself to make your dreams come true!

Donations

$1.00

Where did all the love go?

Many people are so ungrateful and believe they deserve more. Never thinking about anyone else besides their own happiness. This is why I hate holidays or when somebody’s birthday comes around because out society makes us feel so obligated to buy them something expensive without an emphasis on telling people you love them. Where did all the love go? It vanished because love is 100% commercial. I don’t believe in the phrase, “gifts make me happy” instead, I believe in showing people you love them by helping people, expressing a consideration for their problems, their diet, and being thankful for allowing them to experience life with you. What am I going to do with the gifts you give me when I’m dead? Nothing!

Whenever my birthday comes up I just want my friends and family to say, “Happy Birthday!” However, I still have friends and family who rarely reach out to me which has lead me to feel indifferent. Recently, I turned 26 on the 12th of February. One of my family members told my Aunt on the phone, “Tell Caleb I said Happy Birthday!” I understand that as adults we are all busy but if you know somebody has a birthday you should acknowledge it to prevent any ill feelings. There’s no need to buy me anything because I want to see if I’m important in your life or not. Materialism can help me prove that.

As far as materialism is concerned, I am a minimalist. It’s not all about the “bag” (reference about making a lot of money due to working long hours) it’s about putting a strong emphasis on spending our time with nature and enjoying the time we have with one another. I’ve learned that others need a celebration at an expensive restaurant or club and a lot of gifts because they believe that’s their definition of being cared about and loved. For those who desire these things I have to ask you, “Don’t you think you’re asking for too much?” Most of you ask your partners, family, and friends to buy you everything without realizing not everyone can afford it. If anything, it’s quite selfish that you do not even say, “Thank you” either.

As I get older though, I realize materialism isn’t everything because gifts can’t outweigh the experiences you have with the one’s you love. This life we live is full of uncertainties and I refuse to waste it worrying about having a brand new car, a sports watch, or any name brand clothing. Not too many people just hang out and laugh anymore we are always in a rush due to our high demand of materialism and busy lifestyles. How about we try coming together and making an effort to embrace the simplicity of life around us? Let’s do a better job telling people I love you, Happy Birthday, or just Hello instead of just thinking they know it already. Don’t be in such a rush to buy anybody anything without telling them you love them first. Instead, show them by catching up with them, acknowledge that you care about them and stop saying, “I’m too busy” because no one is too busy. Make an effort because life is too short and when you’re on your death bed you’ll rethink the way you lived your life.

Blame Yourself

Our world is filled with many uncertainties which has lead many of us to act irrational and not logically. Each of us have an ego about ourselves that we aren’t willing to strip away. Unfortunately, it has caused us to believe that life revolves around us and nobody else. I used to believe because I have a college degree that I was owed a full-time job, an apartment, and everything I desire. After years of complaining about how the college system is unfair. I just kept complaining, drank heavily, and I didn’t write or apply myself which made the situation worse. When I turned 24, I had to accept that “I AM OWED NOTHING!”

In the film, “Manic”, Lyle (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) gets into a fight with Big Mike (Elden Henson) after the two had a disagreement about how the facility didn’t do their job when Kenny (Cody Lightning) was being abused by his stepfather. Dr. David Monroe (Don Cheadle) yells at the Lyle because he has had enough with Lyle anger issues. He throws the chair and tells Lyle, “Life is just a struggle and that’s the way it is.” And Dr. Monroe is absolutely right. It’s the reason why I’m indifferent to the curve balls that have been thrown my way. I chose to keep myself ego less and make sure I’m responsible of my own actions.

We can prepare for life. We are forced to take the punches and get back up. Let’s take the corona virus for example. It’s an unfortunate epidemic that is affecting many people financially and mentally. People are angry that their job is laying them off, blaming China for the outbreak, or saying “If we were all vegan this wouldn’t happen”. Hey, I’m not here to argue with you. You probably have a legitimate grievance. But look at your life right now and ask yourself, “Do you like the human being that you have become?” If the answer is No! You have some work to do and the corona virus has nothing to do with it!

There will be another epidemic very soon and many will chime in with conspiracy theories instead of taking action. Now is a better time than ever to fix yourself! Start writing your book, explore passive income ideas, start a you tube channel, actually workout and healthier, or even invest in stocks.

We’ve been trained to point the fingers at somebody because we grew up around people who never lead by example. Leaders by example are the true game changers in this world. They do not make any excuses for their behavior they blame themselves. If you start by leasing by example you don’t have time for the petty B.S., you keep to yourself, you don’t try to be cool, tough, or whatever, you just focus on your purpose. Once you have defined your purpose nothing else matters.

The consequences of not leading by example you will never figure out who you are, you will continue to eat processed foods and just being a negative energy source in society. As I said earlier, the world is filled with uncertainties, however, you need to make sure your life has certainty. If you do not like your life it’s your responsibility to do something about it. The universe rewards those who understand that playing the victim is B.S. Quit being a victim. No seriously, get off your couch and make something out of self!

After the Awakening

Many people brag about being “woke” without realizing their not even “awake”. You still partying on a Friday night at the club getting blackout drunk or parading around provocatively to cope with your pain and relive the glory days. You’re still consuming junk food on a daily basis instead of in moderation because you won’t admit to yourself that you have an unhealthy relationship. You claim to be over your partner but you’re still posting passive aggressive memes via social media about the downfalls of the opposite sex without realizing you haven’t truly healed yourself.

Image result for men are trash meme

To make matters worse, you get all triggered or offended by saying, “Oh, why you hating on me for?” In reality, you clearly don’t practice what you preach because you’re afraid to address your own insecurities. In order to be AWAKE you must hold yourself accountable at all times. No more excuses just embrace solutions.

Years ago, I wasn’t moving in the right direction. I blamed others for my failures and was jealous of others because I was afraid to hold myself accountable. On New Years Night 2019, I was hanging out with some friends at some mediocre club. I reached a point where I made some progress by not drinking for a couple of months prior to the night. But on this night, I relapsed. Later on that night, I made out with a woman I didn’t know. However, the moment she left, I didn’t know what to do with myself so I took more shots to numb the pain of her absence. I went back to my friend’s place and I passed out on the couch feeling out of sync mentally and physically. I didn’t sleep that night because I knew I had to get my life together and it hasn’t been easy to love myself again.

We’ve all reached that point in life where we say, “I gotta’ get my life together” but most of us wait or steer back into our ways due to comfort.

It’s not about making million of dollars or having a revenge body or the right ascetic features. However, if you really want to change your life around you will remain consistent. You will fall, stumble, lose control but if your address your problems you will eventually stand tall and be in control.

I often hear “religious” people say, “ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!” Well God can only help you if you actually fight back in life and stop these illogical rants about why life is so hard and why everyone is against you. Instead of complaining, pay attention to what you’re even saying or doing. Does it make sense? Does this align with my morals? If you cannot answer those questions what does God have to with this? It seems like you need to strip yourself of your lazy mindset because your fake prayers will never equal sustainable blessings. I can no longer complain about anything that happened in my life. I only aim to do my best today and look forward to improving tomorrow. In life, you can either repeat the same toxic behaviors or be uncomfortable taking risks. I have giving you my personal story called, “How Not to conquer in life” you have been warned! Now with this all being said, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE!

Man Up

A man telling his fellow man to “Man Up” is not toxic, it’s a practice in self-reliance. This term is used to simply push a struggling man to realize his full potential and create self-discipline. We live in a world where the average man is constantly overthinking every single decision he makes because he’s not around real men. A real man is somebody who carries himself with pride and passion. He lends a hand to his friends and family who are struggling as best as he can, and he holds himself accountable. Now, a man should not be completely indifferent to everything. When is pertains to his doubts and worries this needs to be handled in private because no one respects a weak man. Nobody!

When I played basketball at Millpond Village in 2003 I learned very quickly that the guys I played with didn’t care about how I felt. I faced guys who were taller, stronger and older than me which resulted in me getting into a couple of minor scuffles, called numerous names, had basketball stolen from me, and was told I couldn’t play. Oh yeah, I was told to man up whenever I cried. Society will read this over and think, “Well Caleb, that’s pretty toxic! That’s toxic masculinity!” No it’s not Toxic Masculinity because this is how the world treats you. If you don’t pick yourself up and keep going people will continue to knock you down. So it’s in your best interest to get up and try again. I wanted to play basketball but I realized that I wasn’t tall enough and I sucked! What I decided to do was improve myself on and off the court by watching NBA and college basketball games, I played before the school bus arrived and got my homework doesn’t ASAP just to get to the court to show off my skills.

People don’t realize that’s just the way life is. You have to be tough in public and cry in private. If your cry and whine all the time about how your boss yelled at you or why a girl doesn’t like you, you will remain a timid little boy trapped in a man’s body. Discourses by Epictetus p. 276 states that “Another man is afraid that he shall not have power you are afraid that you will.” What Epictetus was saying is men need to take risks and bank on themselves. Don’t be afraid to take that long journey of self-discovery because you should not let others diminish your ability to shine through the darkest days.

Guys are designed to be problem solvers not problem creators. We are supposed to be brave and courageous, responsible and disciplined. Whenever a man tells you to “Man Up” know that he sees potential in you and is trying to toughen you up for a world where only the strong shall survive. It’s a mental practice in self-love that only a man can teach. You have to Man Up because the world doesn’t pity a man who refuses fight back and take control of his mental and physical well-being. Take it one day at a time guys. Fight your own fight and continue to rally on!

Who are you?

Society lives vicariously through toxic movies and shows to identify with themselves which leaves us with brain dead zombies. There isn’t any creativity left in our world because people fail to overcome what has been setting them back mentally. The two most valuable lessons a person must learn in order to move in the right direction is heartbreak and poverty.

First, let’s talk about Heartbreak. Recently deceased rapper Juice WRLD, once said, “Can’t take back the love that I gave you”. Heartbreak is suppose to teach you not to love so blindly and think with your mind because certain people are just not good for your heart. Their touch might be great but if your mind isn’t constantly stimulated by them you will long for another person’s touch. The mind is a powerful thing, therefore we must choose to think before doing anything. My heart has been broken a couple of times. I tried finding love in clubs, bars, and on tinder only to reach the conclusion that love shouldn’t be rushed or searching for. You should never let society pressure you into looking for love because you will always find it in all the wrong places. This is why hookup culture is so appeasing because people have been programmed to engage in a night of pleasure in exchange for their souls. You keep trying to win this game called “Get over my ex” without realizing you are hurting you and yourself. I’ve mentioned how the mind and body need to be in sync. Well, when you are hooking up with multiple people or just getting into relationships in fear of loneliness the mind and the body will remain disconnected until you come to terms with yourself.

Poverty is the next lesson that needs to be learned. New Zealand Rapper David Dallas once said, “I went with doubt when I had no money.” If you are tired of being broke you will find more ways to make money. I remember when I was a janitor making minimum wage. I complained about it but I got tired of my own behavior and kept applying to other jobs. It wasn’t easy but I did reach a break through. Some may say that working full-time and do overtime, working odd jobs, and develop side incomes is too much work but I hate the feeling of being broke. Therefore, if I can find a way to make more money legally I will explore it. From a guy’s perspective, when a guy is not making his own money it messes with his pride. He hears his inner voice telling him, “You’re not a real man”. Finding a job and making money is the easy part. The hard part is budgeting and saving your money because you are now realizing money never grew on trees.

Lastly, take these life lessons and really try to apply them in day-to-day life. We all struggle from time to time but we CHOOSE to keep struggling by being still. Still people choose to live in complacency because it’s too hard to change. It is isn’t being a good person. You have to have moral character and held yourself accountable instead of blaming others. There isn’t a challenge in being bad because all you have to do is blame everybody else for your own mistakes. The sooner you become tired of yourself this is where your growing process begins.

I don’t need your approval

Am I doing a good job? Does this look okay? Questions like this that we’ve been trained to ask because we aren’t confident in our own beliefs. When are going to believe in ourselves though? Tomorrow, next week, or do we need our friends, family, and social media to constantly back our beliefs. How about we start today because the most logical thing is to hold ourselves accountable and stick to our own individual purposes in life. No longer should we always be looking for another person’s approval because all we are doing is practicing self-inadequacy.

Everybody wants to be told how great they are which is understandable. However, it becomes a problem when you don’t believe in yourself without the approval of others. If you are addicted to the approval of others you will always be complacent. You need to let go of this way of thinking and realize how great you are. If you need the approval of any outside source constantly it’s time to change your way of thinking.

Back in high school, I was a competitive Track and Field star filled with bitterness and jealously. I’d constantly ask myself and others, “What makes them better than me? He’s not even in my league!” To combat my toxic thinking, everyday I trained like an animal. After high school, I went to track practice for 2-3 hours, then I hit the gym for another hour, afterward I did my homework and went to bed. Even thought my hard work paid off and I received the coach’s award, freshman of the year, a track jacket, and some certificates happy. I didn’t know why but I realize now that I was obsessed with trying to get recognition, approval, self-worth and awards from my coaches and everyone else. But I never said, “Hey Caleb, you have done the best you can. You don’t need any awards to define you!” I wish I knew I that back than because I would have eased up on my rigorous training.

Finally, before I go to bed I list my strengths, weakness and what I can approve on to keep myself on task. When you hold yourself truly accountable and you aren’t constantly looking for somebody else’s approval that is the ultimate practice of self-confidence. I’ve learned to pat myself on the back and no longer let myself be defined by anyone else’s standards. If you struggle are always seeking approval from somebody else you need to stop immediately by telling yourself everyday, “I don’t need their approval. All I’m going to do is remain patient and trust my own process.” because it’s your life. Stop letting others live your life for you. You know there isn’t a point in doing this because it has made you miserable for such a long time. Ask yourself, “Do you want to be happy or miserable?” When you’ve answered happy, you will implement a plan moving forward.

Over thinking is killing you

I’ve recently discovered Mooji, a Jamaican spiritual teacher who teaches people to live in the moment by not controlling everything around them in order to feel free. In this clip, “Stop thinking and just be” he says, “All the beings are so tired, tired. Mostly from mind, not from hard labor. Hard labor in the mind, thinking, thinking, peeling carrots in the mind. Forget about it.” I’ve listened to this clip a couple of times wondering what Mooji is trying to say. But I believe he’s telling us to stop letting our inner thoughts control us because they’re killing us inside. The sooner we start to silence our own inner demons than we can finally be free. However, I’m learning this process is not easy.

As I kid I’ve dealt with my learning disability. In middle school I failed many tests and doubted who I was as a person. I never got picked on by other kids but it wasn’t easy to cope with. One day in high school, I failed my Geometry test and I flipped out on the teacher because I really thought I was going to pass. She looked me and sent me to another room to cool off but I was still pissed off. Taking tests for me has never been easy. I’d look up study tips but none of them seemed to help. Now that I’m older I’ve realized it’s my own thoughts. Just like the ghetto boys, “My minds playing tricks on me”. I used to hate multiple choice because I’d blame the teacher for trying to trick me. I’d even go as far as saying that she/he wants me to fail. There against me but it’s not true. The truth it’s been me all along not believe in me.

Lastly, we as people have to learn not let our negative thoughts control us. We need to celebrate and pat ourselves on the back more for what we are doing currently. Being an over-thinker has led me to lose out on many opportunities constantly wondering, “What if?” instead of “Why not?” Now, I have changed my way of thinking and stopped downplaying how great of a person I am. I’m going to have downfalls but overthinking my existence is not beneficial to my health.

This is why each day I wake up at 6:00 a.m. to stretch, meditate and plan out my day for the first 30 minutes of my day. Before I go to bed, I write down my accomplishments and what I can improve on. I can say from my own experience that this has helped me out a lot. In order to control your own thoughts you have to be pro-active. Being pro-active allows you to come up with a plan on how to solve your problems instead of dwelling on them for days, weeks, months, or even years. Remember, your thoughts can only control you if you let them. Learn how to take control!

Okay.

Believe it or not, avoiding arguments can be a good thing. Arguing with everybody about everything is simply time consuming. I’m not suggesting that you let everything go but to ask yourself, “Is this really worth arguing over?” For example, when I was in college I argued about how I dislike WWE wrestler Roman Reigns while my roommate disagreed with me. Now I realize that it doesn’t matter because wrestling is subjective. I don’t have to change how a person feels about a sport that’s already pre-determined because it doesn’t get me anywhere.

Nowadays, I about topics that I feel actually matter such as toxic family traits, health, and overall wellness because those topics have a deep effect on how we view one another. For example, if a woman came up to me to inform me that, “All of you black men ain’t shit! You have anger problems and make terrible fathers!” I will not be silent. Instead, I will calmly tell her, “No, this is not true. You can’t make a blanket statement like that based on a couple of bad experiences. Today, black men are lawyers, doctors, athletes, and etc. so you can’t be so biased. Your own anger and personal resentment has sadly led you to think this way. You have to learn how to let it go or it will consume you.” We can go back and worth but if we aren’t reaching a common ground it’s my responsibility to simply tell her, “Okay.” Why? Because I proved my point and do not need to argue any longer.

Finally, whenever you argue with anybody your main goal is only to educate someone. In our culture, many people argue with the intent to belittle, embarrass, or even ridicule with snarky remarks and sly comments. However, you have to realize that these people are emotionally immature. Arguments are definitely healthy but only when they are constructive. In order to have dialogue we need to establish respect and dignity. None of us are special, as John Legend would say, “We’re just ordinary people.” Never let your ego get so high and mighty because you won’t be able to open up your mind and realize what people are trying to tell you.

Never ignore the signs.

“I try to appreciate but I deserve more.” This lyric is from the song, “Supastar” by Group Home and it has meant a lot to me as of late. It’s made me realize that I am only human. I hated who I was because I felt lost. Every time this song comes on I can’t help but to repeat, “I try to appreciate but I deserve more” because I never wanted to have a high and mighty ego about myself. Therefore, I lowered my own standards and changed my morals to accommodate others around me. My thought process was if I change my standards and morals I won’t feel so empty and I’ll finally feel accepted by everybody. However, I only became resentful and bitter. It’s not a bad thing to have standards because you have to realize that you are not like everybody else. It’s not your responsibility to live up somebody’s per-conceived notion of who you are.

Lately, I’ve taken a break from women because my toxic don’t reflect my morals and standards. I tried to appreciate that I was being “loved” by another woman because I’d tell myself, “Well Caleb, this is the best a guy like you can do.” I can remember the last time I was with a woman. After we finished, her and I were laying around watching Television and she asked me, “What are you thinking about?” All I can do is tell her, “I don’t know” It’s crazy because I thought I would feel better being with her but I felt worse. I stared at the wall with deep regret and emptiness not understanding why. But after a couple of months of taking a break from women I realized the problem has been my self-esteem. I can tell myself I deserve more but I have to actually DO MORE! And honestly, I wasn’t doing more for myself.

I spent too much time swiping right on Tinder, sliding into another woman’s DM, and lusting for a woman’s touch that I’ve come to realize I won’t be happy continuing this behavior. Now, I understand that I don’t need to chase after women, instead, I need to get myself together. The most toxic thing you can do is look for love when you can’t even love yourself. After some soul-searching, I can say I’m moving in the right direction. I’m not too worried about being on the bench and not playing in the field because I owe it to myself right now to stay focused, love myself, and continue to do the right thing. In due time, everything will work out but there is no need to rush anything. Just let things flow!

The problem with positive people

A body positive person is always quick to say, “I’m trying to be a more positive person and I don’t want your negativity invading my space.” An actual example of a negative comment /message is,“You’re so fat and you should just die already.” This type of negative energy should not be tolerated which is why you should block that person. However, if the comment/message reads, “Look, I believe you should strongly consider losing weight because you are putting your own health at risk.” this is constructive criticism. Body positive people have blurred the lines between the two and looped both as “breeding negativity” because your hurt their feelings. Remember, if someone is GENUINELY trying to help you that means they care about you!

I’ve watched the show, “My Big Fat Fabulous Life” which features Whitney Way Thore and how hard her life is in a bigger body. Whitney is a very insecure woman just like a lot of women are. There’s nothing wrong with being insecure but it’s about how you handle it. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she isn’t 100% percent serious about KEEPING OFF THE WEIGHT! If she was she would try harder and quit with the excuses!

In this clip, a promising comic “shames” Whitney. Whitney says, “I never had somebody come at me like this before” after the comic told her, “For somebody who says there happy you sure cry a lot!” Many of Whitney’s supporters will say the comic is being mean but she’s being honest. Whitney has a history PCOS which makes it harder for her to keep the weight off. However, before you play into her victim-play, pay attention to what she eats/drinks and how often she sits down.

I have never struggled with PCOS but I do know that Jon Taffer once said, “I don’t embrace excuses, I embrace solutions.” Whitney will not ever take responsibility because, “people treat her badly” and other excuses. Besides, she did lose 100 pounds before but because she feel off the wagon she gained it back. By the way, her own trainer became sick of her excuses and fired her. Let me ask you all a question. If Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) lost to Clubber Lang (Mr. T) and decided to quit boxing would you still support him? No, you wouldn’t because people would rather see others overcome their obstacles instead of constantly complaining.

Hopefully in her sixth season she will start eating better instead of picking up diet fads and workouts. Also, I have to ask this question, “Do these “Body positive models” really want to lose the weight and keep it off?” It seems as if many body positive figures don’t want to lose too much weight because their publicity and fame will fad away. This is why you need a Pusher, a Doer, a Visionary, and a motivator to succeed in life. Don’t only associate yourself with people who always agree with you and NEVER CHALLENGE YOU!

Whitney’s self-esteem is really low because her whole circle constantly tells her how great she is and they rarely challenge her. Our society is so clueless that we cheer and praise people like her for being brave to go against society’s standards. I disagree that everyone is supposed to have abs, thigh gaps, perfect jaw lines, and live in the gym but I do agree that having trouble walking up the stairs, being out of breath, more than two chins and a very large stomach is simply not healthy. I hope that Whitney loses the weight and keeps it off not for television ratings but for HER OWN LONG-TERM HEALTH. However, six seasons later and all that’s left is hope.

You ain’t fighting demons

Right now, the world is a battle between good and evil. Many people believe it’s okay do what you want. However, that is simply not the case. One day, all of you troublemakers will have to wake up and realize the world does not revolve around you. Everything that you do in life either moves you forward or backwards. The only demons that you’re fighting is really your own thoughts!

It was my 23rd birthday and I wasn’t in the mood to chasing any women because I was another depressed Janitor desperately trying to find another job. I didn’t want any gifts, strippers, money, none of that, I just wanted my friends around me. That day, Me, my buddy from high school, and two other guys from the neighborhood I hung around with sometimes. They had a reputation for acting too wild in public but I didn’t pay it any mind. I figured since I never experienced it, it wouldn’t happen to me.

I was feeling pretty good that night after a couple of drinks and good food. All of a sudden, the two neighborhood guys were getting too wild and started flirting with a couple of girls at the bar. Two guys wanted to fight all of us because those were their girlfriends. I’ve learned when too much liquor is involved it’s a recipe for disaster. Luckily, the guys calmed down and left. After that happened, I didn’t want anymore drama so I rounded everyone up and we left. In the car ride home, I yelled at the both of them for screwing up the night but they were too wasted to realize what I was saying.

I was so tired of their B.S. that I took a vow to myself to never hang out with them ever again. One of them kept saying, “It wasn’t my fault I’m sorry.” The same guy who always gets too drunk from time to time and says, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me it’s like I’m fighting demons!” I ignored at times and told myself, “He’s just too drunk but it won’t happen again.” In reality, him and his buddy were slackers who blamed the world for their downfalls and poor decision making. That’s why the title reads, “You ain’t fighting demons.” Most of y’all are just facing the consequences of your actions. Instead of running away like a little kid you just don’t want to face your problems like an adult.

Nowadays, it’s harder for me to feel bad for people because I was always trying to help these kind of toxic people. Every time, it was like talking to a brick wall. It’s a toxic trait of mine to help people who don’t actually want to be helped. However, after my birthday was ruined, I realized how much I despised my drunken party days because of how uncomfortable I felt in my own skin. Back then, I wanted to prove that I was still “Cool”. Now, I don’t care about being cool!

Lastly, you need to start being more responsible. Avoid blaming other people for your own damn problems. I’m so sick of hearing y’all on social media whining about these demons you’re dealing with while Y’all chose to have unprotected sex, argue with people who try to help you, deal and do drugs even though your life isn’t that hard, fight everybody, and just make a bunch of excuses of why it’s so hard to be you. Save it already! People will only entertain your personal drama for so long. Eventually, they’re going to just stop trying to help you because you’re just a worthless cost!

I don’t associate with ignorance

There are too many ignorant people in the world regardless of their race or gender. Ignorant people are too loud, refuse to listen, can’t look people in the eyes, and lack compassion or understanding for everyone else around them. Therefore, I chose to distance myself. I used to associate with sketchy people in my earlier twenties who didn’t care about their lives and wanted to fun by any means necessary. So if you and I are hanging out and I tell you, “We gotta’ get out of here!” you need to listen to me because I know what I’m talking about.

I went to a party in East Hartford, CT in my early twenties. Being that I’m extremely observant, I saw this one girl arguing with another her boyfriend/friend and the argument intensified. All of a sudden, two guys starting fighting each other. The DJ said, “Ayo cut that shit out or we closing the club!” Since no one listened, the whole club was shut down and within minutes the cops were called.

Ignorant people ruin everything. If you are going out for a night of fun just weary of people are too crazy. Now, I don’t hang out in the hood or any sketchy area I’m not familiar with simply to avoid unnecessary drama or anybody’s personal demons. I don’t care what ignorant people go through because most of them will never fix their problems and enjoy playing the victim. Get help and stop blaming everybody else because it’s not cute to be in your 30’s or 40’s fighting people at bars and clubs.

Yes, I am introverted, anti-social, a weirdo, or whatever you want to call me. I simply don’t care. There’s a reason why I don’t have a bundle of kids, I’m drama free, and don’t an alcohol problem. It’s because I hold myself accountable and don’t associate with trash. Read this very carefully, “If you associate with anybody who does drugs, drinks too much, has sex with anybody, plays the victim, lies, cheats, and steals from their own family and friends CUT THESE PEOPLE OFF! It’s not your responsibility to put on your superhero cape on and save these people because they have to save themselves.

The damage of glorifying drug culture

Whatever problems you are going through it’s your responsibility to find somebody to help or listen to. Ignoring the problem only makes it worse. Hip-Hop/ Rap culture used to tell stories selling positive messages with songs like, “Ain’t Gonna’ Hurt Nobody by Kid n’ Play” or just stories about the day-to-day grind such as, “The Message by Grand Master Flash and The Furious Five”. The goal was to combat drug use and live a more positive life. Now, the music culture has changed. Most Rap/Hip Hop songs glorify drug use. The message is quite simple, “If you wanna’ be cool and get all of the girls sell dope and drink lean. When you do that you will get all the bitches, cars, houses and money you want. And if you don’t agree with us you’re being a hater!”This is why we need to educate ourselves with knowledge instead of degrade our selves with drug/alcohol. Parents, instead of having your kids glorying a drug culture in the music industry how about you introduce them to classical music and arts. The truth is that young kids would rather be mumble rappers then doctors, lawyers, construction workers and teachers because it’s too hard for them to focus and be productive citizens to society.

Another rapper named Juice Wrld died due to an apparent seizure on December 8th, 2019. I’m not going to focus on the seizure however, I am going to discuss his drug addiction. On September 9th, 2018, in a No Jumper Interview him and the host discuss many topics such as sobriety, Mac Miller, The rapper Future, and drugs. It was an interesting but also eerie interview to listen to and here’s why. The host asks, “You always has some issues with drugs before you started to get famous and uh.. right?” Juice Wrld’s replies, “In 6th grade, 7th grade I’m hearing songs about sippin’ lean and those are the real influential years.. like finding out who your role models are..”

In middle school, when your are either 13 or 14 years old boy you don’t care about school that much. Your attention is drawn towards girls and getting money. In general, young people are going through hormones, self-discovery, emotions and you ultimately, fell like you don’t fit in anywhere. When I was in middle school I mostly listened to 50 cent, Ja Rule, Ludacris and the Game. However, I was raised that this kind of music is merely entertainment and to focus on my school work. Juice Wrld like other kids have been raised with ONLY this kind of music. This is a prime example of irresponsible behavior of his parents. They should have set down the foundation that is just entertainment and pushed him more in a positive direction. One of the reason why he did drugs in the first place was because he saw his favorite rapper Future getting paid and getting a lot of girls. So when you haven’t been raised properly and schoolwork is not a main priority teens usually turn to drugs.

Recently, many young rappers and young people dying not because of the music, but more because their self-esteem is so low. They are not confident enough to say no in fear of feeling left out. Rappers of this generation such as J-Cole and Hopsin promote how detrimental drugs are to your health and making wiser decisions, but whenever their songs come are played, it’s categorized as “Boring, too serious, and wack as fuck” because the younger generation doesn’t understand how to talk about their problems instead of running away from them.

I’m 25-years-old and yes, life is hard. When I was 19-years-old I tried to run away from my problems and unfortunately, I ended up in the hospital. I didn’t solve the problems inside of my head until I talked about them. Years later, I became Sober after finally leaving the drug and alcohol scene alone. I realized that I didn’t care anymore to fit in and be cool. I wasn’t going to achieve anything if I was hungover or just too burned out to do anything either. It’s the reason why I work out, eat properly, write and try to be more productive so I don’t have to go back to that lifestyle. Sure, I do miss getting trashed but I remember exactly how empty I would feel in the morning. It’s not a feeling I miss and that’s why it’s been worth it being sober.

All of those drugs in Juice WRLD system was not beneficial to his health. This young man had been doing very heavy drugs at the early age of 13. It’s sad that he is died but this should be a wake up call and not a time morn to long. Doing drugs kills people and if you have a friend with a drug problem you need to help them, even if you have to snitch on them.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like we are nearing the end of drug culture. In this video, (WSHH: Juice Head pops 10 pills on camera) this is a 9 second clip of a rapper named “Juice Head” popping pills on camera. If he keeps this behavior up he will eventually die. To make matters worse, his “friends’ are encouraging this and they’ll be the same one’s saying, “RIP Juice Head” but no one in his circle will ever say, “Damn, I gotta help Juice Head so he doesn’t end up like the rest of the rappers who have died due to drug addiction.”

Here’s how it always starts. In the beginning, the drugs give you a trip that makes you feel invincible. After a couple of years, the invincible factor has worn off and you feel like shit. Your buddies say, “Let’s try something else!” Now, it’s perks, molly, or lean to chase a new high. The pattern of your drug of choice keeps getting stale and you keep upgrading in order to chase the invincibility factor. However, you and I are not invincible, we are human. The brain cannot outgrow adolescent behaviors and immature decision making if the body keeps digesting drugs and other cheap fixes. We have to think about our futures and feed our brains with knowledgeable information. If we do not start now it is going to be to late.

The truth about helping people

A Helper goes above and beyond to make sure everybody is good. But who usually helps the helper? Most of the time, nobody. In this society, helpers are taken advantage of on a daily basis. They give constantly to other people but rarely get anything in return. This leaves, The Helper feeling confused bout how to ask others for help, to just say no, or even stand up for themselves in general. Taking from people is very toxic, however, helping people is toxic as well.

I used to help people so much it took a toll on me. I realized that many people take advantage of you because they know they can. After a while I had enough. For instance, when I was in high school I had a history paper to complete. Everybody chose to be in groups, however, I understood the topic fairly well and opted to complete mine by myself. A student saw how much progress I was making and asked me, “Hey man can I partner with you!” I’ve helped him many times in the past like giving him a pencil, some of my food, etc. and he never helped me once. He was the typical high school jock who used his personality to take advantage of others. Therefore, I decided to not let him take advantage of me. One side of me almost said, “Yeah sure man!” but my gut feeling said, “No don’t let him advantage of you. It’s not your fault he’s lazy and wants you to do the work while he lays on his ass.” Looking back at it now, I’m glad I listened to my gut.

I am a helper but I’m no longer am I a pushover because it’s exhausting trying to help everybody. Imagine trying to walk up a steep hill with a book bag on full of rocks. Eventually, if the bag is too heavy you will break your back or drop the bag! That’s how users are. Nothing but dead rocks forcing you to carry them. A user is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and you must be very careful. Users do not know how to help themselves because they grew up having someone cater to their every need. It’s easy for them because that’s all that they know.

On the other hand, Helpers do not ask for help because they grew up without anyone helping them during their childhood. Overall, their mindset is, “I will help out so and so because nobody helped me when I was younger. I know I should say no but they really need me!” I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to say no! You deserve a break from trying to help everyone. Take a step back and let others figure out their own bullshit because it’s not your responsibility.

It’s just a game

Y’all need to calm down when your team loses. Yes, I said it! It’s just a game! It’s comical that grown-ass adults get so mad when their team loses. Over here talking about, “We should have won! That game was rigged! They cheated!” It doesn’t even stop there. Players are harassed mercifully just because they decided to play for another team. In basketball, I remember Vince Carter left the Toronto Raptors to play for the Nets. Every time Vince touched the ball he was booed until the fans finally stopped after a year. Lebron James had his jersey burned when he left the Cleveland Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat and many other situations. Nowadays, most fans are crazy. They believe they are owed something to sports entertainment even though they don’t even play. They just watch on television, buy jerseys, and game tickets. So much rage over what fans think is a betrayal. I understand the passion of winning but this behavior is getting toxic and athletes are speaking out.

Kyrie Irving is an NBA basketball player who currently plays for the Brooklyn Nets. He has previously played for the Cleveland Cavaliers and Boston Celtics as well. As of right now, he is currently dealing with a shoulder injury. Some fans believe he faked the injury. Even former Boston Celtic player, Kendrick Perkins said, “Kyrie looked at the schedule before the season started and planned this whole injury thing because he didn’t want to go back to Boston this upcoming week. He didn’t want that smoke in the Bean Town.” It’s crazy because Perkins never gossiped or said much but now since he’s an analyst in ESPN, he has a lot to say. Interesting

Irving responded via Instagram with the following post (source: New York Post):

Whether you believed Kyrie faked his injury, wasn’t an effective leader, or tore apart the Celtic’s chemistry he is still human. It’s so crazy how athletes deal with mental health issues and are harassed by these “so-called fans” and are shown no sympathy. Athletes are treated like a circus attraction for the enjoyment of ungrateful people. It’s just sad because just like Irving stated, “It’s one big show that means very little in the real world.”

Imagine being so obsessed with your team winning you miss work the next day to avoid people making fun of you. Imagine making sports your entire life that you spend the majority of your time on the internet trolling these athletes or at the actual games simply because they missed a shot or fumbled a pass. When I was younger, I used to always want the Celtics to win so badly. I would troll my Facebook hating on Lebron and Kobe, questioned Danny Ainge’s judgment, getting mad when Paul Pierce was traded, and if Ray Allen’s loyalty to the Celtic was genuine because I felt I had to defend them. Now, my mentality is if they win they win if they lose, then they lose. Either life goes on. There are more important issues in the world for to focus on.

It’s sad that athletes are trolled like Irving because he’s only human. In my opinion, overall, he played well as a Celtic. He didn’t play as well last season but the whole team together lost in the playoffs, due to a lack of team chemistry. Basketball is a team sport, not an individual play. Honestly, it’s the reason why I don’t watch basketball as much because of the online whining, non-stop dunking and excessive three point shooting, the petty politicking, and extremely fast-paced nature of the game. The game used to be nice and smooth. The players took their time and played with competitive nature. Fans cared more about the actual game, now, they are more concerned about trolling people and blaming these athletes for why their team lost.

Understand this sports fans, these athletes don’t owe you shit! They can play for whatever team they want or retire so just chill out. Realize these athletes are just people, they are not superhuman.

I found this post by (Black Twitter FB) to be comical but true:

It’s true though. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand what these athletes go through mentally and physically. I can hear the response now, “Well if they can’t handle the criticism they should not be playing!” That may be somewhat true but just like how they don’t have to play because of the critics and excessive trolling, you should quit your job when your boss gives you a hard time because you can’t “handle the criticism” right. Two wrongs will never make a right.

Some athletes shake it off while others not so much. I understand where Irving is coming from because this is just a game. I’m sure he will return soon but it’s crazy how many fans just don’t care. Don’t let sports entertainment take over your life. It’s not that serious!

Why families fall apart

Why families fall apart

Thanksgiving is around the corner and the family is coming over. The same family that always complains about “Why don’t we get together more often?” “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while?”, “How come you never text me?”, “Do you remember me?” Without realizing they met you when you were six-years-old? This is just the tip of the iceberg from the clueless family members that are in denial. It’s nice to try and keep the family together but the truth is a lot of us don’t want to deal with each other. Most of us come for the food!

Furthermore, many family members are toxic because they always say bad things
behind your back. The kind of family members who constantly talk about “How much of a loser you are!” or try to publicly embarrass you in front of the family because of, “What you eat (Vegan/Vegetarian), or make comments about how your skinny, fat, or even worse, rehab from drug and alcohol issues. Nobody wants to endure the drama, rumors, and putdowns they just want to eat in peace. Unfortunately, certain families thrive on chaos!

Furthermore, certain family members just hate each other. That’s why whenever you go to a Thanksgiving dinner you always say, “I hope I don’t see so and so!” Nobody wants to deal with cousin Ann still holding resentment from her Mother Doreen, The two younger brothers Jimmy and Ray trying to fight or argue every time they see one another, and the two older sisters Darlene and Susan not talking to each other, even if they’re in the same room.

Drama separates families because many people aren’t willing to have a conversation. They’re still holding on to what happened years ago instead of moving forward. All this toxic energy makes Thanksgiving or any holiday horrible because a black sheep like myself sees through it all and chooses to remain silent. Why? It’s not my responsibility to fix every problem. Especially when I can’t get certain family members to talk to one another.

Many “adults” are still stuck in their adolescent behavior. They will still say, “Well I don’t know what I did wrong to make him/her mad at me. Besides, if he’s going to ignore me. I’ll ignore him back.” This is the tactic children use because they fail to communicate. However, adults should be able to discuss their problems instead of humiliating each other, fighting one another, or purposely arguing with one another. Until the family talks about the problem it will never be solved.



Never address anyone publicly

Any issue I have with anybody I always address them in private, never in public. Nowadays, too many people are seeking an audience every time they have an issue with somebody because they enjoy the crowd’s laughter and need someone to hear them like a typical “Reality-TV argument” and what does it solve NOTHING!

For instance, in the workplace, you have different types of co-workers to deal with. Therefore, do not think that everybody is the same. I’ll never discuss my problems at my workplace because I know my co-workers could care less, they are most likely being nosy and because the company doesn’t revolve around me. Therefore, it is my responsibility to be professional by doing my job, minding my business, and going home.

I will never take kindly to a co-worker asking me, “Is there something wrong Caleb, you don’t seem like yourself?” in front of my fellow co-workers. I am going to feel disrespected and embarrassed merely because my co-worker is assuming that “something wrong with me” when it’s nothing more than a misunderstanding and they should mind their business.

Luckily, someone level headed as myself will let the situation go because I understand that many people do not realize how disrespectful it is to ask that question. However, a combative co-worker will scream and become increasingly defensive. Which often leads to a heated argument or possibly a fight?

Your co-workers are most likely not your friends or family. It’s best to remain cordial with everybody stay employed and avoid company drama. In the workplace, pay attention to your co-worker’s body language to understand the message you are trying to convey. If you are guilty of asking a co-worker, “What is going on with you, is everything ok?” Surrounded by other co-workers. I want you to pay close attention to the facial expressions, the co-worker shaking their head and smirking or laughing, and the less eye contact you are receiving because you pissed that person off. It’s the real reason why James has ignored you or just yelled at you for asking him that question.

In the workplace, we need each other because not one person runs the entire show. Your best bet is to be respectful of one another in order to make it throughout the day. If you really wanted to know what was wrong ask that person in private or just mind your own business. Another co-worker’s bad day is not your concern.








How to die sooner

You are deteriorating before your very eyes because you have been taught to value others’ opinions instead of valuing your own. You will buy materialistic items only to impress everybody because you don’t love yourself. You use quotes from Eric Thomas, Keanu Reeves, and Tom Hardy but won’t live your own life on your own merits. There are so many copies but not enough originals. People that live truly for themselves are not lonely or lost, we are complete and have found ourselves.

When I was younger, I changed who I was to feel accepted by others. I recycled others’ opinions on music, art, etc. just to avoid arguments or confrontation and in the process, I destroyed my self image. At the age of 23, I realized I didn’t love myself because I wasn’t truly me. Now, I see “23-year-old me” in a lot of people and it’s heartbreaking. After much needed soul-searching I stopped walking around timid and scared because of a fear of not being accepted. Why? Because we are all going to die and only one person fits in a casket.

Stop using quotes that you don’t even live by. Keanu Reeves once said, “Someone told me the other day that he felt bad for single people because they are lonely all the time. I told him that’s not true I’m single and I don’t feel lonely. I take myself out to eat, I buy myself clothes. I have great times by myself. Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option and not a necessity.” I have seen this quote on social media numerous times agreeing with Keanu Reeves. However, I see many people in relationships continually posting passive “memes” about their relationships instead of breaking up. Why? They need each other to fill their empty voids. You void will not be fulfilled if you do not know who you truly are without your partner.

In summary, happiness and fulfillment has nothing to do with talking about it, it’s all about the actions you take. In order to feel this way cut toxic people off and formulate your own opinions. Stop letting people shame or guilt-trip you to do anything you don’t want to do. How to live longer is by Opting out of “Acceptance Culture” and spending more time alone to figure yourself out. On the other hand, if you want to die sooner, never make your own decisions, change your own personal style just to fit in with strangers, and recycle quotes you don’t even live by to brag about how fucking “woke” you are!

You are not in sync.


You can’t remain focused on your goals because your mind and body are not properly in sync. It’s the reason why you cannot adapt to change, why you give up easily and why you have not advanced in life. You want to compete with everyone else instead of with yourself. Therefore, you aren’t allowing yourself to make your own decisions because you cannot lead yourself. This will not be an overnight process but once follow these steps you mind and body will shift together.


You must never smoke another cigarette again. Tobacco and vape companies make millions of dollars capitalizing on your insecurities through shame marketing and other underhanded tactics. Whenever you inhale tobacco and vapes you’re just inhaling chemicals that are killing your brain cells. How can one be creative if one does not have proper mental clarity? Today or tomorrow I want you to observe your surroundings and pay attention to the man or woman smoking cigarette. Pay close attention to their poor disposition, unwillingness to live and how lonely they must feel. Then, I want to you to ask yourself, do I want to live like this?

Quit drinking like a got damn fish.Most fights and car accidents were caused by a drunk person. Just like smoking, drinking doesn’t solve your problems either. I’ve mentioned in “The New Plantation”, the reason why Fredrick Douglass didn’t drink. In summary, “Abolitionist Frederick Douglass discussed that during Christmas, the slave masters gave the slaves alcohol. The slaves would indulge in this poison to numb the pain and also, to not think about escaping. You see, when the mind and body are not connected problems never become solutions. It turns into the same routine of getting high or drunk to forget everything instead of facing the problem head on. Whenever your friends are drinking or smoking too much and your subconscious is making you feel left out, remember, the only way you can make your life better is by making positive changes to your life and admit that you are the problem.

Stop eating like a child, you are an adult. I’ve discussed clearing out your mind by not drinking or smoking excessively. Now, it’s time to talk about diet. I know, the big scary word “diet” that so many people dread to talk about. But hey, it has to be addressed. My page (@Beetsbyk) discusses eating healthier and making lifestyle changes. It is not a “militant” lifestyle that says, “You should never eat cookies and cake again.” However, my page is stating that you should consume 20% junk food and consume 80% fruits, vegetables, starches, and grains in order to clear out excess mucus and toxic waste that’s been built up in you for years. You have to be tired of having constant headaches and stomach cramps right? Well, a simple tweek in your diet can do wonders. Most of you consume so much fast food and processed foods on a daily basis rather than consume a simple banana because you won’t eat the brown spot. However, did you know a banana can aid in muscle recovery, improve your energy, lower digestion issues, and lessen sleep your issues? Instead of trying to understand what your doctor or a health expert is trying to say, you will ignorantly defend your right to eat a whole bag of Cheetos because you had a long day or whatever. Stop with the excuses and try to eat healthier for yourself. With so many recipes on Google and healthier restaurants to eat from there is no excuse.


In summary, if you don’t fix your mental and physical diet, you will remain a slave to your own poor choices. But if you start cutting back on smoking, drinking and trying to eat healthier today, your mental clarity and overall self-esteem is going to improve. You may just be a janitor right now but if follow what I mentioned you will be inspired to be more than just a janitor. You will not care if what others think about you because you will be too bust trying to improve yourself. This is a practice of self-discipline. You can either whine and complain like a child or you can be an adult and hold yourself accountable. Either way, I am not going to force these lifestyle changes on you. You have to start on your own. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

I didn’t think Black women liked me

When I was younger, I didn’t attract a lot of black women. I remember in middle school asking black girls to be my girlfriend and constantly being rejected for corny, nerdy, ugly and socially awkward. So in my mind, I didn’t feel I was attractive to black girls. Which led me to explore other races.

Even though middle school was over, the psychological damage was done. Throughout high school, I still held onto this belief that black women didn’t find me attractive because of the way I spoke, talked, or dressed funny. I told myself these terrible things because I let my inner thoughts control me so badly that whenever I saw attractive black girls, I put my head down, never flirted, and tried my best to not even approach them. All because my subconscious kept saying, “She’s not into you so don’t even waste your time.” You would think I’d get over this after my freshman year of high school but I didn’t start trying to talk to black women until I was a freshman in college. I just said, “Fuck it, what do you have to lose?” After that, I built more confidence in myself to approach black women.

Rejection is so hard to overcome. Especially when you feel rejected by your own race because it leaves you feeling unwanted and ugly. It took many years for me to realize that this ideology was in my head. I don’t need to be a certain type of “black guy” for black women to be attracted to me. It’s not about the saggy pants, being a thug or a drug dealer. These are just stereotypes. I’ve learned that I just needed to be more confident in myself and not give a damn if any woman, didn’t want me. I can’t believe I hurt my head for so many years filling my head with this rhetoric. Now, I move on and realize I’m not corny, nerdy, ugly or socially awkward.

The on-going theme in my recent blogs is, “DO NOT LET YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES FROM YOUR PAST CONTROL YOUR FUTURE!” You’re killing your brain thinking like this.

You need to allow yourself to move on because holding on simply isn’t worth it anymore.

Follow Caleb Harris:

Instagram:@calebhatescake

Facebook:@caleb.harris.716

Ebook:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079CQ2Y2S

The truth about Generosity

Being Genuine is a noble characteristic that is overlooked and not cherished. When I was younger, my generosity has led to me being pushed around, used and mentally abused. When you have a naturally healing aura people will constantly come to you for your help or advice and at times, it becomes draining. Which is why genuine people are kind hearted to a fault. You put yourself in this situation because you know that the world is full of people who will destroy everything instead of trying to fix anything.

Therefore, the only solution to preventing mental and physical stress from users is to say, “NO!” I used to have a problem saying, “No!” to people because I was being too generous. Whenever a woman stood me up I wouldn’t mention it. She would say same ol’ shit, “Hey Caleb, sorry but can we reschedule today…” I used to reply, “Oh hey, it’s okay. Can you do next weekend?” Only to get rejected for another guy or left on read. Now, I walk away completely, delete her number and lose contact with her because if she wanted to meet me she would have made the effort too. No questions asked.

Right now, I’m reached the turning point of my life where my primary focus is to speak my mind and only make sure that I’m okay. If that rubs people the wrong way than oh well. Opening up my space to another broken soul for therapy hour is not an option anymore. If I don’t know you that well, you’re going to have to get your life together on your own.

Generosity kills. It’s tiring being generous to everyone because many people don’t deserve it. Remember this not too many people want to see you win, they’re championing for you to lose. You’re co-worker will find somebody else to do their share of work, The girl/guy you like will not sacrifice their time for you and will find somebody else to fuck, and that friend or family member will find somebody else to give them a free ride to work. Be thankful to have generous heart, however, do not have a naive mind. Avoid users as much as possible and value your life more.

Stop relying on others

I don’t have a lot of friends and family. Guess what? Neither do you. Most of us grew up in single-income households and it’s the reason why most of us have to self-efficient instead of self-reliant at an early age. This is why your mind convinces you that people will not help you. It’s a good quality to have because without hesitation you’ll motivate yourself to do more things on your own. On the other hand, being so independent does not allow you to properly ask for help because you constantly feel as if people won’t help you. This is true and also not true. There are people who will help you if you ask them to but there are also people who will not help you, however just try to use you. Living in a single-income household creates this chip on your shoulder that it’s “you vs. the world” It’s the reason why a lot people say, “I don’t trust a lot of people” Do not take it personal or judge, this is just a normal reaction to how a person reacts when they feel betrayed or abandoned.

I held a lot of resentment in my heart when I was younger because I felt no one wanted to help me out. Therefore, I didn’t ask for help. I either did it myself or suffered in silence. Now, I’ve myself a balance of doing things for myself and asking for help when I need it as a means of survival. It’s a cruel world but you have to be tough. Life isn’t designed to be easy and that’s why you have to not rely on others to help you all of the time.

I see so many people who are just so weak and whinny but they are physically and mentally capable of getting shit done. It’s because they had people to rely on their whole lives. I grew up without my father, therefore, I had to learn how to do basic man shit by myself (cars, lifting weights, how to be calm, a proper handle of rejection, talking to girls, taking risks, and being less angry). On top of that, my mother taught me how to cook, clean, do laundry, by around the age of 12. I learned from her how to be forgiving, caring, and honest.

Sure, it would be great to live in a fairy-tale land of two loving parents where I can get the proper balance of both male and female perspectives but it is what it is. I’ve grown up realizing you have no one else and its better that I continue learning to do for myself because everyone I know is eventually going to die. Then who else can I depend, myself of course. Do not keep living life relying on people to have fun with, seeking validation from anybody, or reassuring your place in anyone’s life. Think for yourself and only yourself.

Follow Caleb Harris:

Instagram@calebhatescake

Facebook:@caleb.harris.716

Ebook:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079CQ2Y2S

I am not your hero

Fred Rogers once said, “We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say, “It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem. Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.” (@out.of.hiding) I understand where Mr. Rogers is coming from but our society is full of such needy and greedy people which makes “sharing responsibility” nearly impossible to accomplish. Some people aren’t worth helping. These kind of people won’t even show up to your funeral after you eventually die as well.

Narcissism is a common trait in irresponsible people. Which is why people post boast about, “It’s all about me and nobody else. I only care about me and if it doesn’t benefit me I just don’t give a fuck.” because they want to minus themselves from genuinely helping others. You are not a hero. Nobody is. You are a regular person. It’s not your responsibility to save the world. Only do what you can because you and I are just regular people.

Have you ever had a job that mentally drained you? Physically, you can come in and work but your mind just can’t keep up most of the time. At previous jobs, I would try to be the “hero”, the guy who constantly tried to pick up the slack for others. What did I get, nothing? All I really wanted was the proper paychecks and the recognition. Guess what? It never happened. I had to learn the hard way that I’ll always be surrounded by people who refuse to “share responsibility”. This is why at my current job I do the best I can and go home for my own sanity. If others don’t approve, oh well!

Lastly, there are only a small amount of people who lead by example. Most people just talk and quite frankly, talk too much. Set your own bars and examples to live by. Take care of yourself because that’s the only person who truly knows you. You can’t risk your life trying to save everybody. You and I are not heroes, we are just regular people.

Follow Caleb Harris:

Instagram:@calebhatescake

Facebook:@caleb.harris.716

Ebook:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079CQ2Y2S

Are you willing to start over?

After twenty-five years of living and learning more about life, I can confidently say, “I AM TIRED OF LIVING AN UNFULFILLED LIFE!” I am now more focused and driven to make a new life for myself and remaining indifferent towards random people’s opinions. It’s time to eliminate anything that holds you back from your goals, career, and further aspirations. Easier said than done, right? Before you start saying, “I am willing to start over” you have to actually be willing to start over. What’s it’s going to be? Are you going keep dying with regrets? Or start living with a new purpose?

I’ve had to fix myself over the years. After the nights of heavy drinking and stoned nights I had gained so much weight and felt awful. I neglected any sense of direction or any desire to become a better person. Instead of talking about the problem with people who probably didn’t care anyway, I decided to do something about it. I changed my eating habits, stopped binge drinking and smoking.

When we steer away from our purpose we become complaisant. We no longer care which leads to our depression and anxiety. It’s merely the fear of not knowing what we’re supposed to do and who to be. In the process of starting over, you will have to discuss the problem with a medical professional and figure out a way to SOLVE THE PROBLEM. One thing I can’t stand is someone who keeps complaining about a problem and doesn’t even try to fix it. Then, to make matters worse, they blame everyone else. It’s understandable that you have been hurt but WHAT HAS BLAMING OTHERS DONE FOR YOU!!!

Letting go is easier said than done. The hardest times in your life come from the people who have hurt you. I’ve had many people hurt me to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to realize that this wasn’t good for not just my body but most importantly my soul. At the age of 18–23, I’ve spent the majority of my time trying to impress people and all I did was hurt myself. Now that I’m 25-years-old, I realize I distanced myself from a lot of people and uncomfortable situations because I couldn’t move forward in my life.

I used to relate to Bob the Builder because of his willingness to fix everything. I can imagine how long Bob the Builder would live if he was actually alive. My guess, until the age of 50. I’ve tried really hard to fix relationships, friendships, family, toxic people, and jobs. Now I learned to stop telling myself, “Caleb, just give people more time and they will understand you and fix themselves. They’ll finally cherish who you are.” In reality, I can’t fix everything. People have to LEARN how to fix themselves and if they don’t. Well, It’s not your problem. You can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves.

Image result for you can't fix everything

Follow Caleb Harris:

Instagram@calebhatescake

Facebook:@caleb.harris.716

Ebook:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079CQ2Y2S

You don’t owe them an apology

Never feel as if you owe anyone an apology for getting your life together. If you have to cut some people off, take time for yourself, or complete some serious soul-searching, do it! If your friends do not understand this concept, leave them. They’re not your friends anyway. Your real friends support your decisions, help you in your time of need and try to stead you in the right direction. They do not make you feel as if you owe them something or guilt trip you for changing your life.

Real friends understand when you tell them “Look, I needed space from everyone for a little while to get my life in order.” You cannot let your life fall apart and sit there complaining all of the damn time. Pick your ass up and do something with yourself.

images (6).jpg

A lot of people constantly say, “Why don’t you hit me up anymore?” I only have two responses to this question. First response, “We were never friends, to begin with, and since I’m getting my life in order I’m realizing you are not good for my soul. So that’s why I stopped talking to you.” I am more likely to give this response based on how you have treated me. I analyze situations and people very carefully. A good amount of people aren’t my friends and just want to be around me because I am the “fun drunk”. As soon as I say no, now I’m a boring guy this to this person. My circle is small because of situations like this. I can’t trust everybody because not everyone has a good and loyal heart like I do. And that’s fine, I can’t change everybody.

The second response, “I’ve been so busy I haven’t talked to anybody. If you wanted to hang out, just say so. I’ll try to see what I can do.” One thing we all suffer from is a lack of communication that often creates torn feelings amongst us. There is a great chance that person that you think doesn’t like you, actually likes you and still values your friendship. You and that person haven’t talked in a while so you may feel disconnected towards them.

As adults, we are constantly busy. We no longer have as much time as we would like to have. If the friendship is worth saving and you have had great times together do not cut that person off. They’re still there for you rooting and cheering in your corner during your darkest days. The both of you just have to make time to see each other. It’s crucial to MAKE TIME for REAL people like this!

However, we all know there is evil lurking all around us. Cut off the FAKE people who are not helping you or in your corner. The kind of people who refuse to behave like adults and don’t have any goals or aspirations. You have to surround yourself with hustlers that aren’t just talking about what they’re doing next, they’re actually doing it right now.

Lastly, just remember, this is your life. Quit apologizing for making your life better. If you are not the driver in the car called “life”, you are the constant passenger who is slowly dying inside. Your fight is slowly dying because you’re not taking charge of the wheel and driving the car where you want to go. You may not have your life in order right now. That’s fine. But stop feeling sorry for yourself. Now is your chance to take control. Come up with a schedule and stop telling yourself that you can’t and start telling yourself that you can. That’s the only way to keep the fight alive!

Follow Caleb Harris:
Instagram@calebhatescake
Facebook:@caleb.harris.716
Ebook:https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079CQ2Y2S

You are alone in toxic company

You are alone in toxic company

Many people are afraid to lose their friends due to their self-destructive behavior. It’s one of the reasons why we hold to these toxic “Friends” because we want to remember the good old days when you didn’t have to do drugs and alcohol to have fun. Back then, all you needed was good company to be around in order to have fun.

I don’t believe you should be destroying your body with drugs and alcohol. It’s okay to drink occasionally, however, never do heavy drugs because you never know what’s in them. One drug will make you feel like you’re on top of the world. On the other hand, another drug will have you feeling empty inside. Toxic people are very selfish which prohibits them to comprehend anything. They’ll tend to question why you don’t want to go a club or a bar every weekend to get wasted, trashed etc. with them because they just want to have fun and don’t care about their futures.

111111111

Before you self-medicate yourself, ask yourself, do you want to feel empty inside? You cannot succeed in life hanging out with people who every day, every weekend, or every other day do drugs (cocaine, heroin, acid etc) and drink heavily. People like this only are looking to have fun and are not focused on bettering themselves. How can you better yourself or fix your life if you’re around these toxic people? Answer: You can’t!

It’s okay to be alone. No really, it’s okay to be alone! Spending time with yourself sometimes is a good thing because that’s how you can figure yourself out, set your goals, and reconnect with your hobbies (Sports, collecting, etc.) that you have neglected. A lot of people love to use shame tactics for people who spend time by themselves. My fellow introverts and free-thinkers I know you’ve heard this one before, “Why are you always by yourself? What’s wrong with you, don’t you have any friends?” And the response you’ll give is something like this, “No, I just didn’t feel like going out tonight, that’s all?” To be honest, you’re not missing anything because you didn’t go to the club, bar or a house party. It’s usually the same kind of people anyway, nobody different. How you will notice this is by coming to clubs, bars, and house parties completely sober. The gears will start grinding in your head and you will say “Wait a minute, this is really boring!” As a society, most of us have relied so heavily on drugs and alcohol not only to have fun but to impress others because of a severe case of social anxiety.

09090

You should always be aware of your own surroundings. I’m starting to realize most of the people that I’ve been around aren’t great for my health. I don’t owe them an explanation for why I distanced myself from them because of their toxic vibe. I can’t surround myself around people who do not like to listen, which prohibits them from understanding what they are actually doing wrong. When you lack the ability of listening and understanding, you can’t accept change.

gggg

For example, One night I told a former friend to quit drinking so much and focus on himself because I personally felt he was ruining his life. I spent a couple of minutes trying to explain this to him and yelled at him at one point. However, after seeing his state of mind, I realized, he’s not listening to me because he kept saying, “I’m not doing anything wrong!” I hope he gets the help he needs but I have to accept the fact that he may never change and keep my distance from him.

Wake up, not everybody is your friend. You may be like me and have a small circle because you’re mentally drained from the toxic energy of other people. This is perfectly okay! You gave up on them mostly because you don’t have anything in common with them anyway.

Everyone does not have your best interest at heart and a lot of people are just lost, confused, deranged and constantly looking for direction in all the wrong places. Hopefully, they’ll find help and find a purpose for themselves instead of consuming so much alcohol, drugs, blaming everyone else, and making immoral decisions. But don’t be surprised if they don’t change. Never be afraid to be alone because toxic people will always make you feel empty and lost. All you can do is try to help but if somebody doesn’t want your help or the help that’s being offered to them, there is only so much you can do. You are not a miracle worker!

 

My Take on 11 Kripes by Lan Amore

Written by Caleb Harris

Lan Amore is an Experimental Hip-Hop artist from East Granby, CT and is currently affiliated with Phidelic Entertainment. His 10-track album “Heavy wait” was released in 2016 and the artist has been featured in the Connecticut Cypher “Grind Mode Cypher Connecticut Vol. 11 (prod. by Lingo)” where he was featured with other Connecticut artists such as Lingo, Sam Sos, Louis Cheese, and Scarz. Lan Amore’s current album “11 Kripes” was produced by Kid Ocean and mixed/mastered by Caden Ebert. Furthermore, the album discussing the issues that young and old people go through today. If you haven’t checked it out, I don’t know what you are doing with your life. Especially, if you have a love for hip-hop music.

Image result for phidelic entertainment

This album didn’t strike me as a party album, however, more of a self-reflection of day-to-day life. Lan Amore is a very rare breed. His style and lyricism are a lot different from today’s age of mumble rap and commercial music. After listening to each track it reminded me of Logic’s mixtape: “Young Broke and Infamous”. Both albums have very similar grit and personal lyrics that you can relate to. I would compare Lan Amore’s style of music to similar artists such as Lecrae, Dizzy Wright, Ahmad, and Common Sense. All of these artists tell you what is going on in the world with creative lyrics and phenomenal lyrical content that you can understand. Lan Amore is “For the People” and is somebody that you can relate to because he discusses various issues such as identity issues, drugs, alcohol, financial issues, and the future. A couple of lyrics really stood out to me.

Image result for hip hop

For instance, the following track Straightforward, “high on something personal.” I closed my eyes, reflected on my 24 years of living and I realized that sometimes I’ve held on to a lot of personal vendettas against a lot of people. What I interpreted from this whole song “Straightforward” is that as people it’s hard for us to let go because we remind ourselves of a past situation too much. Hints the lyrics, “high on something personal”. I recently stopped hanging out with certain people in my life because I realized they were bringing down my personal happiness by engaging in inappropriate behavior and refusing to change themselves. The next track that stood out to me was Forcefield, the lyrics, “I’m afraid of the future shit just aint’ what it used too.”

Furthermore, this is an organic album that is different from the mainstream media that’s trying to shove commercial happiness down our throats. Instead, this album tells me the struggles of Lan Amore and what he had to overcome throughout his life. Also, the album broadcast his perseverance because it is easy to give up. The artist wants to carry on through the good and bad times anyway because that’s life. Life can give you lemons, it’s your turn to make lemonade. This album is not a party album and not meant for the radio.

The overall album is laid back so I would suggest inviting a couple of friends over for a relaxed night of pizza, beer, wings and be prepared to have a conversation about the meaning of life. This is not the album for the club goers who grind their business up against each other. Its meant for the laid back crowd who sometimes like to stay in one night and kick back with the locals instead of staying out all night.

Overall, the album has good lyrical content, vocals, and instrumentation. Although the hooks for some the songs seemed too generic and a little too slow for my taste, the album conveyed an overall message of hardships and struggles into a progression of inspiration and ambition. Every track on the album has a great flow and a meaningful message. But most importantly, you can actually understand the lyrics! As I previously stated, this is not a commercial album or another mumble rap album where these so-called “artists” scream, yell, and constantly talk about drugs, hoes, money, and alcohol to prove how edgy and cool they are. Continuously, dumbing down our society. (More on that in a future blog post) In reality, their music sucks and should be thrown in the trash because it doesn’t have any meaning or life lessons to be learned. 11 Kripes has something that a lot of music lacks today, “a message”.

Image result for mumble artists

 

Lastly, this is the kind of sound meant for the local kids and young adults. This album conveys many themes such as perseverance, life, and ambition. But most importantly, it caters to anyone looking to make work harder every day for themselves without losing their friends, family or the perception of reality.

Contact Lan Amore:

Lan Amore’s Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/brothatsmysoap

Lan Amore’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LanAmoreMusic/

Lan Amore’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brothatsmysoap/

Lan Amore’sYoutube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6DANgUVQ8sLmXxFmlNQ2vg

Lan Amore’s clothing line: phidelic.threadless.com/collections/lan-amore

Image result for phidelic entertainment

%d bloggers like this: