What loneliness really means

“I felt so lonely in your company” this lyric is from the song, “Goyte- Somebody I used to know.” Being lonely for me means being around people who don’t make you feel miserable in their company.

One Saturday night, I was at the club with high intentions of having a fun night that included drinking, dancing, and the possibility of getting laid. However, all I can remember is feeling so damn lonely because I wasn’t having fun. The whole night I told myself to, “Give it some time, things are about to pick up. It’s just a little slow that’s all. But mentally, I was just done and wanted to leave.

One of my friends comes up to me and asks, “If I’m good?” I told him, “Man, I’m so bored right now!” It’s funny because that night, here I am in the midst of beautiful women and loud music. However, I still felt lonely.

Then I started realizing, this isn’t me, I need to stop playing myself. I don’t want to be around these kind of people. The music is too loud and it doesn’t feel like I’ll meet a woman with genuine qualities at a club anyway. I admire a simpler lifestyle with a select group of friends. Plus, I don’t have the desire to extend my circle to just anyone.

Some may think this “way of thinking” is boring, judgemental and prudish. That’s fine! I’m having more fun knowing that I’m surrounded by people who actually give a shit about me. That’s all I care about now! I owe no one any apologies and I won’t be forced into thinking that I do.

Loneliness occurs when you’re not having fun in the environment that you are in. Sometimes being alone in a room by yourself or outside is what you need. A lot of people will never understand what it means to be one with yourself. It’s one of the reasons why many people cling to others for their approval and happiness. It’s not your responsibility to change anybody. The only person you can change is you.

1 Comment

  1. That’s a great way to think about the idea of lonliness. I often feel lonely even when I’m surrounded by people. I guess it’s just the realization that your not happy in your current surroundings that makes it more controlable.

    Like

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