I didn’t think Black women liked me

When I was younger, I didn’t attract a lot of black women. I remember in middle school asking black girls to be my girlfriend and constantly being rejected for corny, nerdy, ugly and socially awkward. So in my mind, I didn’t feel I was attractive to black girls. Which led me to explore other races.

Even though middle school was over, the psychological damage was done. Throughout high school, I still held onto this belief that black women didn’t find me attractive because of the way I spoke, talked, or dressed funny. I told myself these terrible things because I let my inner thoughts control me so badly that whenever I saw attractive black girls, I put my head down, never flirted, and tried my best to not even approach them. All because my subconscious kept saying, “She’s not into you so don’t even waste your time.” You would think I’d get over this after my freshman year of high school but I didn’t start trying to talk to black women until I was a freshman in college. I just said, “Fuck it, what do you have to lose?” After that, I built more confidence in myself to approach black women.

Rejection is so hard to overcome. Especially when you feel rejected by your own race because it leaves you feeling unwanted and ugly. It took many years for me to realize that this ideology was in my head. I don’t need to be a certain type of “black guy” for black women to be attracted to me. It’s not about the saggy pants, being a thug or a drug dealer. These are just stereotypes. I’ve learned that I just needed to be more confident in myself and not give a damn if any woman, didn’t want me. I can’t believe I hurt my head for so many years filling my head with this rhetoric. Now, I move on and realize I’m not corny, nerdy, ugly or socially awkward.

The on-going theme in my recent blogs is, “DO NOT LET YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES FROM YOUR PAST CONTROL YOUR FUTURE!” You’re killing your brain thinking like this.

You need to allow yourself to move on because holding on simply isn’t worth it anymore.

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1 Comment

  1. Very interesting post. I think there is a lot of healing needed within the black community. From the time we are small we struggle with self esteem because of our skin color and hair. We don’t think we’re good enough and we have to change all types of things about ourselves. We in the black community should be lifting each other up to change this. It’s sad that this is not happening. We tear each other down instead.


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