A Helper goes above and beyond to make sure everybody is good. But who usually helps the helper? Most of the time, nobody. In this society, helpers are taken advantage of on a daily basis. They give constantly to other people but rarely get anything in return. This leaves, The Helper feeling confused bout how to ask others for help, to just say no, or even stand up for themselves in general. Taking from people is very toxic, however, helping people is toxic as well.
I used to help people so much it took a toll on me. I realized that many people take advantage of you because they know they can. After a while I had enough. For instance, when I was in high school I had a history paper to complete. Everybody chose to be in groups, however, I understood the topic fairly well and opted to complete mine by myself. A student saw how much progress I was making and asked me, “Hey man can I partner with you!” I’ve helped him many times in the past like giving him a pencil, some of my food, etc. and he never helped me once. He was the typical high school jock who used his personality to take advantage of others. Therefore, I decided to not let him take advantage of me. One side of me almost said, “Yeah sure man!” but my gut feeling said, “No don’t let him advantage of you. It’s not your fault he’s lazy and wants you to do the work while he lays on his ass.” Looking back at it now, I’m glad I listened to my gut.
I am a helper but I’m no longer am I a pushover because it’s exhausting trying to help everybody. Imagine trying to walk up a steep hill with a book bag on full of rocks. Eventually, if the bag is too heavy you will break your back or drop the bag! That’s how users are. Nothing but dead rocks forcing you to carry them. A user is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and you must be very careful. Users do not know how to help themselves because they grew up having someone cater to their every need. It’s easy for them because that’s all that they know.
On the other hand, Helpers do not ask for help because they grew up without anyone helping them during their childhood. Overall, their mindset is, “I will help out so and so because nobody helped me when I was younger. I know I should say no but they really need me!” I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to say no! You deserve a break from trying to help everyone. Take a step back and let others figure out their own bullshit because it’s not your responsibility.