Believe it or not, avoiding arguments can be a good thing. Arguing with everybody about everything is simply time consuming. I’m not suggesting that you let everything go but to ask yourself, “Is this really worth arguing over?” For example, when I was in college I argued about how I dislike WWE wrestler Roman Reigns while my roommate disagreed with me. Now I realize that it doesn’t matter because wrestling is subjective. I don’t have to change how a person feels about a sport that’s already pre-determined because it doesn’t get me anywhere.

Nowadays, I about topics that I feel actually matter such as toxic family traits, health, and overall wellness because those topics have a deep effect on how we view one another. For example, if a woman came up to me to inform me that, “All of you black men ain’t shit! You have anger problems and make terrible fathers!” I will not be silent. Instead, I will calmly tell her, “No, this is not true. You can’t make a blanket statement like that based on a couple of bad experiences. Today, black men are lawyers, doctors, athletes, and etc. so you can’t be so biased. Your own anger and personal resentment has sadly led you to think this way. You have to learn how to let it go or it will consume you.” We can go back and worth but if we aren’t reaching a common ground it’s my responsibility to simply tell her, “Okay.” Why? Because I proved my point and do not need to argue any longer.

Finally, whenever you argue with anybody your main goal is only to educate someone. In our culture, many people argue with the intent to belittle, embarrass, or even ridicule with snarky remarks and sly comments. However, you have to realize that these people are emotionally immature. Arguments are definitely healthy but only when they are constructive. In order to have dialogue we need to establish respect and dignity. None of us are special, as John Legend would say, “We’re just ordinary people.” Never let your ego get so high and mighty because you won’t be able to open up your mind and realize what people are trying to tell you.

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