Understand others more

Many of us believe we have to help everyone. However, this is an impossible task. You cannot help everyone. I know this is hard to accept because we want to help, we really do. It even becomes a burden on us which makes us feel guilty or lost. Oftentimes, we ask ourselves, why doesn’t this person want my help? Did I do something wrong to them? What should I do? Sometimes, you can’t do anything.

Now, what do I mean by not doing anything? Sometimes as people we get so caught up in trying to help and expressing our own opinion that we don’t realize not everyone wants to hear us. One of the best solutions is just listening to them vent about the situation and only respond when they are finished.

When I was a 19-year-old freshman in college my Professor told me, “We hear, we listen but we rarely understand.” At first I had no idea what he meant by this but I’ve never forgetten this phrase. Now, I understand what he meant. There are people in this world who felt like they’ve never been heard before. When you unintentionally cut them off mid-sentence or always try to give them advice it can be misinterpreted as you weren’t listening to them. They weren’t looking for answers right away they just want somebody to understand them.

Whenever my friends would go through anything relating to women, jobs, and stress in general, I prided myself on solving their problems with the best advice I could give. Now, I just shut up and try to understand what they’re even going through.

Everyone is different. Not everyone is cut from the same cloth. They’re are people you can give advice to and they will reciprocate it very well. On the other hand, you have others who just want someone to listen to them and understand what they are going through. You have to realize that sometimes there is nothing you can do. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you can’t help everyone. You no longer have to pride yourself as the problem solver if you don’t have a solution. You can just shut up and listen to make that person feel like you understand them.

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