Your issues are your issues

Have you ever heard anyone say to you, “I’m angry because my mother/father did this to me!” This same tired victimhood mentality is played out. Your anger problem is your anger problem. Nobody else’s. Which is why many people can’t get it together because their anger gets in the way. Hints why you see people throwing temper tantrums, lack any ability of self-control, reasoning with others, and have problems with authority. When this is not checked at an early age that person will end up dead or in jail.

When I was younger I was quick to snap. But in my healing process over the last couple of years I’ve realized that yes my mother had issues with her anger along with my father. I could easily say, “I hate both of y’all and I wish y’all didn’t have me” in a toddler’s rage but I’m an adult now. Therefore, I had to rewire my way of thinking from getting into fights with others to reasoning with others in a calm manner. If I didn’t do this, I’d either be in jail or even worse, dead.

Along this difficult journey I’ve learned our anger is a reflection of your childhood. However, no matter what you saw in your childhood/teenage years, no matter how many times you play the victim, and no matter what you’ve been telling yourself, it’s your responsibility AS AN ADULT to fix it. I see so many people getting into relationships with a half-heart and a deep sense of loneliness. Which has been conveyed by a false social construct implies, “If you get into a relationship you won’t be so miserable.” Well I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. If you keep bouncing from partner to partner with a half-heart you’ll never receive your other half until you heal.

People with unresolved anger are the reason why our world doesn’t know how to communicate effectively. It’s obvious that child went through a situation where they were victimized due to rape, molestion, or any form of phyiscal or mental abuse that made them want to fight the world. If that person is you, today you need to LEARN how to confront those demons and let it go because your inner struggles are affecting who you attract (job placement, partners, and business ventures). I’m sure by now you’ve heard the phrase,“Hurt people, hurt people.” Which is true but what they forget to tell y’all was that, “Hurt people keep hurting everyone else because they never LEARNED how to heal.”

It’s easy to blame someone else for what happened in your life. Men like Vince Mcmahon (owner of the WWE) were abused by their step father when they were a child but that didn’t stop his success. Many people say he’s a sleazy businessman, his father gave him the company, and he’s the devil. I’m not here to debate what’s true or not but I am here to say that Vince’s business is still running because he separates business from personal very well. Men like Vince did what needed to be done. He stopped playing the victim and learned how to control his anger. 

Finally, I’m not saying be passive aggressive and avoid every conflict thrown your way because we all know that will not work. However, I’m telling you to stand up for yourself but live to fight another day. Evaluate the situation and ask yourself, “Is this even worth my time?” This pain you harbor needs to be talked about with somebody. You can talk to me, a therapist, or a counselor but after this talk, PLEASE apply the coping mechanisms to your life because without practice execution simply can’t happen. 

Vince McMahon Documentary:

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1 Comment

  1. Great post i agree with all you’re saying in a sense that we can’t always be playing the victim. Healing is important no matter how long it takes. It’s unfortunate we’re in a time where people think other people in the form of a partner will make them happy.

    Liked by 1 person

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