Why do we think the worst in people?

Well, would you believe it if I said it’s natural to be slightly skeptical of people? Or would you just say I’m being too negative? My Pastor Sean Wiles one week said, “People are evil. It’s true I can show you in the scripture!” Since the forbidden fruit was eaten by Adam and Eve we all have sin in us. However, it doesn’t give us the right to keep sinning. People have their own personal issues and oftentimes the common denominator was not being loved properly as a child. Which is what I remember whenever I want to think the worst of somebody.

As a filmmaker, writer and creative I see films differently than others. Some may see a scene in a film where a man/woman is acting crazy and not understand why. However, I’ll see the same exact scene and witness the director trying to convey that the character is, “crying for help”. 

For example, one film that comes to mind is Aretha Franklin’s new film “Respect”. One scene in particular that stuck out to me is when she was younger. Unfortunately, in this scene Aretha was abused by a family member when everyone else was celebrating downstairs. The film obviously didn’t show this whole heinous act but when the door closed with young Aretha and her abused trapped inside, the camera cut to Aretha’s scared expression. 

The next scene a couple of the girls were getting their hair braided by Aretha’s Grandma. When it was time for Aretha to get hair done Aretha yelled that she didn’t want her hair done because she didn’t want to look pretty  because it all brought back terrible thoughts of her abuser. That abuse was a turning point in a film and a “cry for help”. The director wanted us to know that Aretha’s innocence was stolen and she had to grow up fast because the kid inside of her was now dead. 

As the film progressed, Aretha did ugly things such as drink to cope with pain, entertain a man who wasn’t right for her, and live for the world instead of for Christ. She even went as far as removing the gold necklace with a cross attached to it because she no longer felt God’s love.

As you can see our childhood clouds our way of thinking which leads us to destructive behaviors and ideals. And just like Aretha all it takes is one time! This leads you to feel you’ve been screwed over, abandoned, silenced, or just ultimately, invisible. Then when your walk with the Lord isn’t strong because you’ve convinced yourself he’s not there or doesn’t hear you, you believe everyone will hurt you and it’s just a matter of time.

Another film I watched when I was a kid was the Fat Albert film. Lauri (Dania Ramirez) is a popular girl in high school, she’s no different than any other typical teenage girl without her mother and father. She still wants love but unfortunately thinks being popular will reward her the love she’s been longing for all of her life. Her and Fat Albert began to become very close and developed a relationship. So when Fat Albert told Lauri he had to go back into his “cartoon world” because he didn’t belong in the “real world” Lauri was not receptive and screamed at him, “You know it’s funny.. Every time someone gets close to me, they wound up leaving me.”

To be honest that hit really deep for me. When I was six years old my trust was lost when my father tried to kill my mother. Over the years it made me tougher and more quiet. But overall, I realized that I am not him, he was possessed by demons, and unfortunately, not in the right state of mind to break the generational curse of anger. It took time but I had to realize my father had personal demons that he was dealing with. 

You may not know this about me but I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve been raised to persevere through the darkest days of my life but I’ve always longed for people who would just stay. I’ve had many people leave me which led me to feel broken and it sucked! I felt empty and just less than that which caused me to not say much or not be vulnerable with others because I just figured, “Well this is it Caleb! As soon as you get close to this person they will leave. So enjoy your fun while it lasts because all “good” things must come to an end!” 

Ever since I’ve been studying communications, psychology, human nature and behavior I learned alot about people. Which in return has made me an effective communicator. However, after I was baptized and read God’s word more often, I learned that God helps those who look to Him for the answers in this life, instead of relying on their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). God’s always been there. He has never left you or me. But when your heart aches and has been replaced with anger, bitterness, and jealousy, you can’t hear his voice clearly, nor comprehend his wisdom.

Psalms 138:6 states, “Though the Lord is supreme, he takes care of those who are humble, but he stays away from the proud.” When you accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior you are his child and he will protect you. When you walk with Him he will remove your negative thoughts, cruel people from your life, and your past evil ways because you are His. Friend, not everybody is evil. I used to think this but the more I penetrate His word and hang out like-minded believers I realize that many of us just don’t know or have not yet experienced God’s awesome grace. Yet the moment you recognize His presence you feel whole again!

Remember, you are not God and neither am I. Understand that human nature needs more compassion than ever before since right now, we are in the last days. (2 Timothy 3). Even when you feel someone is out to get you or you’re just skeptical of that individual, kill their heart with kindness for they do not know what they are doing. You don’t have to be best friends but wishing death or any harm for them hurting you is not going to make it better, but even worse.

In the end you are picking up your cross and following Him which means the old you is now dead. Since you have been bought by Christ you are looked to be the light and no longer the darkness. Good people choose not to hurt others but instead choose to help. They understand why people have evil inside of them and always rise above. If you feel as if your old self is coming back to play or if you’re just skeptical of everyone, I want you to meditate on Psalm 140: 13 “Good people will praise his name; honest people will live in his presence.” Choose the light because God ignores those who choose to live in the dark.

Last week’s blog: https://unpopularopinionsdots.com/2021/08/30/the-momentum-is-shifting/

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