The current state of men

Many men feel weak, insecure, and shunned due to a lack of affirmation or biblical guidance by a dad or a male mentor. Patrick Morley discussed in his book “Man in the Mirror” that us men are caught in the “rat race” in our endless pursuit of goals, money, and our dreams. Therefore, we’ve left our young boys behind. Over the past two years, I’ve talked to men and been a part of a couple of men’s mental health groups (both Christian and Non-Christian). One common theme I’ve noticed many of them say is, “I don’t have much confidence in myself.”

Dad is to blame yes but it’s the man who raised him that is to blame as well. I don’t say this bash anybody but I believe it’s time for us to be responsible. Many of us men suffer without pride which causes us to seek wise biblical-based counseling. But instead, live in our heads. If we continue down this path we unknowingly repeat the same mistakes our fathers did which leads to another generation of men who will stay quiet and will continue to feel unheard by everybody.

My story isn’t the greatest but now I’m reaching out. I used to be bitter towards my dad and even my family but I never knew why. It’s because I wasn’t seeking biblical counseling and I just wanted to lean unto my own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)

However, I’ve decided to follow Him instead of the world. I can now empathize as I realize my family did the best they could for me with what they knew. I can’t play God because I am not him, and never will be which is why surrendered and forgave my family. In this act, God changed my heart and I now see clearly.

So the question remains as society asks, “Why can’t men surrender to God?” The truth is many of us just don’t know how to.

Last year, I decided to change my church home because I wanted to learn more about the gospel. I realized I just don’t know how to ask for help because I’ve done this “life” thing by myself.

When I confided in other men in my old church I felt I was a bother. Now I realize I’m not but I meditate on how many men feel like a bother because of what this world has taught them about being silent and not asking for help?

Now many of our men are leaving the church, changing religions, or even killing themselves because they just can’t take it anymore. Why do you think you don’t see many men around? Why do you think many men just keep quiet? When a man doesn’t feel needed or wanted his darkness becomes his friend.

What is the solution? What us men need is a call to action. Proverbs 27:17 states, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the face his neighbor,” Now is the time to listen and council men with the word because the world is making them feel hopeless. The state of men needs improvement and it’s going to require us to drop out egos and surrender.

Us men of God must live in this world but never be of it. (1 Corinthians 9:27)
Men suffer in silence because they’ve been turned away. I once was guilty of turning others away but God has convicted me. Now, I keep my phone on and I don’t ghost other men who want to talk to me or give me advice. That was my past self and every day I remind myself that’s not me, I’m bought by Christ. God wants us to hate sin and love what is good (Amos 5:15) but never hate people. Instead, show them the way of God through your actions. Love them and forgive as Christ has done for us.

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