I thought I was ugly

When I was younger I was never comfortable in my skin so I isolated myself from others. During my youth, my skin was a mystery to me because I thought I was ugly.

However, in God’s eyes, I am handsome and smart. Therefore, the world’s view of me doesn’t matter because I just live here. (John 17:15-21) Fortunately, I know this now but back then if you told me I’m perfect in God’s eyes, I just wouldn’t believe you.

When I was thirteen playing basketball the teams were split up into boys vs. girls. During the game, I was sweating profusely which made the girls uncomfortable. After the game was over, I overheard other girls making comments about how I stunk. Since my flesh felt some type of way about it I ended up taking my ball and going home (literally).

For at least the next three weeks the girls continued to avoid me and whisper about me. Also, my “friends” started to as well. Since my buddies didn’t want to ball with me anymore and the girls wanted me nowhere near them, I avoided social interaction with everybody.

Now, I could care less because that’s just kids being kids. I had to learn that when you do not know any better, you will not become better. Therefore, I have forgiven them years ago which gives my heart grace and peace.

But it raises a good question for us adults, do we feel ugly?

There are two types of ugly this world makes us feel.

1. Ugly on the inside:

An example is our food choices. We feel ugly because of what we feed ourselves. When we load up on too much food we think we are full but we are bloated and stuffed. The Bible says in Proverbs 28: 7 A discerning son heeds instruction, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.

When I read this I interpret the scripture instructing me to be careful about what I eat and to ask myself, “Am I glorifying God?” If we aren’t eating to His glory then what exactly our feeding ourselves? Most likely, junk food slows the brain down and decreases our energy levels. In return, when we don’t watch what we eat we feel ugly.

2. We feel ugly on the outside:

Outward appearance is everything to the world. As I mentioned earlier, I hated my appearance, my muscles weren’t big enough, my clothes didn’t fit right, and one eyebrow was longer than the other. The list goes on but tbh, it was the enemy. He knows the scripture and he’s cunning at times. He knows what thoughts make you feel ugly. He’ll tell you that you aren’t worthy because you don’t look like a fitness model due to your zits or moles.

However, as believers, we have the light so we do not succumb to the darkness. (John 8:12) When we reject this way of thinking we can let God in our hearts. Once this occurs our inner and outer appearances become like children almost. Our skin brightens, we maintain a youthful look, and we won’t die. Just like Enoch and Elijah God takes His humble servants away from this earth to walk with Him forever.

Remember, God does not make any mistakes. This world will continue to put us down but we have been bought by Christ (Galatians 3:13-15). Even through the darkest days we still have to surrender unto Him. For our obedience, we will no longer feel ugly but beautiful instead. Now go and wear the crown of beauty handed by God himself (1 Peter 3: 3-4) for He does want you to feel ugly because everything is beautiful when blessed by God.

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